035: What's Holding YOU Back?
Do you know exactly what's holding you back? Have you got the self-awareness, done the work, looked inside and gone, yep, I know what I need to overcome - I know exactly what my mindset blocks and barriers are and you know that once you get a handle on these issues that you have, everything will not only be easier to build in your business, your life and your relationships, but boy, will you be a happier person?!
This is the topic of today's episode and I'm going to dive into exactly what's holding me back and challenge you to do the same. Let's dive in.
I was Facetiming my sister this morning - I'm in London and she’s in Auckland, New Zealand. She's a couple of years younger than me and is my best friend in the world. I absolutely adore my sister. We have got the same thoughts about so many things. We look quite alike, so we're told, and I really don't like the fact that she lives so far away because I would love to see her in person all the time. Fortunately, we can still talk to each other all the time on FaceTime.
This morning we were talking about how to overcome the things that are holding us back and the work that we're doing to actually get there. Even though my sister's younger than me, I look up to her immensely. She's overcome so much in the last few years, including ovarian cancer and being the most courageous single parent, teacher, entrepreneur, creative, and maker. She really is an inspiration to me.
In fact, she started me on my most recent self-development journey a few years ago, when I went over to Auckland to help her through her final rounds of chemo. She introduced me to this loud American guy called Tony Robbins - perhaps you've heard of him. I was absolutely compelled to watch his documentary and not long after that, my husband and I attended his event, Unleash The Power Within, when he visited London in 2019.
It sparked an interest and passion in me to pursue the online business world, as well as being the best me that I could be. My sister and I were chatting about some of the modalities that I've experienced recently, and I really want to share this journey with you. It's intensely personal, but also universal, and perhaps you can see some of the things that I've now come to understand reflected in your own experiences.
Because building an online business is not just about business. It's about you. It's about the person that you are.
Perhaps you've heard of the be, do, have model. It's pretty simple. It says in order to have the things you want, and in order to do the things you have to do to have the things you want, who do you have to be? It's about changing at your very core and stepping into the person that can do the things and have those things.
It's about overcoming your blocks and your barriers - stepping in and stepping up.
Yet, ironically, we’re held back by things that just do not need to hold us back. Things that are ancient history, things that just chipped away at our own self-confidence and self-worth that meant all these years later, instead of showing up, being visible and building your ultimate dream, you end up playing small and wonder why you just cannot seem to get where you want to go.
Knowing that, I've been so curious to trial different experiences that could help bolster my self-worth and allow me to do the things that I'm still nervous to do and allow me to be the person that I know I have the potential to be. I got into the idea of exploring past life regression a few months ago. I got intrigued after hearing about it from Sharon Pinkston, the Airstream oracle. empath and coach who told me about Brian Weiss, who is well-renowned for his past life regression work and books. If you'd have asked me only a year or two ago whether I would have been open to past life regression, I may have doubted that past lives or reincarnation were even a thing, but now I'm pretty open-minded.
Moreover, I truly want to explore my own past lives, so I downloaded a meditation by Brian Weiss. I started to do some self-meditation in the woods - as I do most mornings - but using Brian’s guided meditation for past life regression.
At first, nothing at all was happening, but I was incredibly surprised - it was perhaps the third time that I'd done this - that I was riding a horse that was galloping really fast. I was a male with an injured leg that was bleeding, had sandy blonde coloured hair and I was going really fast. I was also wearing a uniform with a navy-blue woollen jacket. As I looked around, it felt to me that the scenery was that of the wild west in America. I knew that I was running away from something, and I knew my leg was bleeding.
I didn't get much more information, but at the end of the regression, he simply asked what year it was and 1891 popped into my mind. At first, I thought this feels like the American Civil War, but I'm not much of one for American history and I wasn't really sure what dates that would have been applicable to. I felt certain that where I was located in this vision was the Prairies because I saw a little Prairie house and the woman dressed just like I'd seen it on TV.
When I finished the meditation, I opened up my phone and typed in 1891 Prairies war and, to my massive surprise, it came up that not only were there frequent battles between soldiers and the Native Americans at the time, but 1891 was well known for that. Indeed, looking at the pictures, the soldiers were wearing navy blue woollen coats. I did feel quite surprised actually and also reassured thinking, you know what, this stuff may actually work.
I wanted to go further and find out a little bit more and found a lady here in the UK - in London - who has a very good reputation for being one of the leading practitioners of past life regression. I went to see her in person and was so excited to find out about my past lives, but it didn't exactly go to plan. I've got to tell you, I'm actually feeling a little bit embarrassed about even sharing this, and you’ll understand this as I tell you more. However, my sister encouraged me to be open and authentic about this, and you'll see why I felt a little bit embarrassed even to tell my sister.
Now I knew that being regressed wasn't going to necessarily come easy to me because I have a belief that I can't be easily hypnotised - I feel like I'm probably too tense. I'm just uptight about stuff. Indeed, when I entered into my session, which did go on for some time, I really struggled to regress to past lives. I got fleeting images and indications of some time periods, but nothing meaningful came through. The practitioner suggested to me that even though she specialises in past life regression, she also does this life regression, and sometimes when we've got stuff blocking us in this life, it can prevent us from going back comfortably to previous lives.
Of course, I said, sure, let's give it a go, and in this regression, she took me back to a point in my life where I felt like I was two years old. I was stood in what I know to be my parents' lounge, and as I stood there, I was looking around and it looked just the way I remember it from when I was a child. I was all on my own and the sense of loneliness and abandonment was washing over me. The lady asked me, ‘what's going on? What do you feel?’ I burst into tears and said, ‘Mummy's upstairs with the baby and I'm all alone’. I sobbed my heart out.
I'm so embarrassed to tell you this - this could almost be inconsequential - we all have siblings and sibling rivalry, and I adore my sister as I've just told you. She’s my best friend. Yet here I was at 46 years old, sobbing my heart out because when I was two, my Mum had another baby. But you know what? It was amazing, because I realised in that moment that all of the feelings I have in my life of having to do everything myself, feeling unsupported and feeling like only I can do things as well as I can do them - feeling like I can't necessarily trust other people to do it the way I need it to be done, to look after me, I have to look after myself - has been so pervasive for me through so many years.
As this realisation sunk in, I've come to the understanding that sometimes really small, tiny things - as my sister calls them, butterfly wings - can literally ripple through the years and through time and space to cause these blocks and barriers that really never needed to be there, but you've carried with you.
I'm a big believer as well in synchronicities and how things happen for a reason. It was probably only a week later that I joined an inner child breathwork session and literally was taken right back to that moment. That vision of me being two years old and stood there all alone, looking around the lounge, remembering the feelings of abandonment and isolation, knowing that I had to do everything myself and this amazing revelation came to me - it was pure source, and it said to me, you are never alone. You are always supported. I realised that it wasn't even referring to my husband or my parents or my friends and the people I love. It was literally referring to spirit - to source. I've never been a religious person and was stunned. It felt like such a religious epiphany, but at the same time, I couldn't argue with the way it made me feel.
I've never felt so calm, so supported and so loved, and I could see this lonely two-year-old little girl being enveloped in love and support from the energy of the universe. As the adult with that child still within me, I felt it too in a visceral and real way. Whilst these limiting beliefs haven't been totally overcome, and I know I've got so much more work to do. I've been astonished by how much this stuff's come out and I've been able to be so much more self-aware. No wonder it's so hard as I'm building my business to delegate or to accept the offer of some help from a friend - to accept that somebody is happy to do it for me, just because, or that they're capable of doing it brilliantly and I don't need to get involved.
More than ever, I'm aware that as we build our businesses, fusing ourselves as humans with frailties, barriers, blocks, mindset, limiting beliefs with all the actual things we have to do is the only way that we're going to not only be successful, but also be happy with it. How we can take action but do it with intuition.
I may have called this podcast Action Taker Tribe, and I may yet rename it in the future because the truth is, action's just part of the story. Inspiration, ease, flow, joy, spirit. All of these words are equally, if not more important, as I'm building my business.
I've noticed too that as I'm coaching my clients to build their businesses, I’m called to bring more and more of this spiritual element into my coaching. Like me, the people I work with are also looking to build their businesses in a happy, aligned way - to remove the stress from the action, work on raising their vibes and look for synchronicities and fun in everything they do.
I truly feel like I'm finally stepping into my purpose, and I hope that you are too.
If you feel called to see whether I can help you build your online business, I'm offering free strategy calls. The link will be in the show notes, or you can find me on Instagram at @iamjo.ingram. Have an inspired action week, take care.